Realizing that you may be headed towards divorce is a very painful revelation. Regardless of how long you’ve been married, this is usually hard to accept. It seems trite to say that if your gut tells you something is wrong, you should pay attention, but to a certain degree, that is true. There are some signs to look out for, however, and though they may not be 100% fool proof, when looked at in the aggregate, they may signify that it’s time to accept that your marriage may be ending.
For example, you may notice that your lives barely intersect. Perhaps your children are getting older, or even leaving the nest, and you find that you have nothing left to talk about with your spouse. Maybe you find yourselves arguing in front of your children about simple matters, which escalates into rehashing all the perceived wrongs and actual hurts incurred over the years. One of you may still be present in the marriage, while the other is drifting, perhaps even engaging in secretive behaviors.
There are many other signs and clues that can signify the breakup of the marriage. If you have doubts, you may want to seek marital and/or individual counseling to help you make a final decision. However, once you have decided there is no choice but to move forward with a divorce, there are a few things you should always remember and absolutely avoid.
- Don’t do things out of spite
- Don’t send texts/emails which can be used against you
- Don’t put your kids in the middle
- Don’t fight over things that aren’t really important to you just to make a point.
- Don’t try to hide money.
- Don’t keep adding money to a joint account.
Alternatively, there are some practical steps to take that will help make your divorce go more smoothly once you have settled on the right attorney for your situation:
- Copy all documents pertaining to your finances
- Know the household budget and all expenses; know how much your spouse earns
- Inventory the household and family accounts and possessions
- Make a realistic estimate of your earning potential and future expenses
- Examine your credit history
- Know all of your debt and how you manage it.
Once you have an understanding of your financials and a general idea of what you’re looking for in a divorce, you are ready to find the best attorney for your particular situation. Remember, no two divorces are the same, so try not to compare with your friends/family. Give us a call and we can help you navigate this part of your journey. You need an attorney that will understand what you are looking for and will be honest with you about what you can expect, as well as offer the compassion and legal guidance needed at a very emotionally stressful time.